In-Depth Tips from Dr English

Tact can be described as the acute sensitivity to what is proper and appropriate in dealing with others, including the ability to speak or act without causing offence. This often involves being aware of people’s cultural and social background, as well as their personality they possess. Also, their size and appearance is important (Remarks: In what way?).

When paying attention to these areas, you should use your skill and judgment before you make any comments or statements about the person and his/her country etc. (Remarks: Wouldn’t it be better to avoid doing this?)

Being untactful - lacking or showing a lack of what is fitting and considerate in dealing with others. It most often causes embarrassment and discomfort to the person on the receiving end, and can also lead to the person who says the untactful thing, also feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Sometimes, it even leads to the loss of potential or existing business, especially if by being untactful someone has caused offence. (Remarks: Please rewrite this paragraph and improve the quality of writing.)

Below are some areas in which you can avoid being untactful (Remarks: Please rewrite and encourage desirable behaviour/speech instead.) with both Chinese and Westerners (Remarks: Is it necessary to pinpoint a particular group of people?).

First meetings

Don’t talk about age, size, appearance, religion, sex etc. (Remarks: Are such topics OK other than in first meetings?) Keep the subjects simple and neutral.

Developing a Conversation

Keep on neutral subjects such as superficial topics (Remarks: Is this advice good?) about weather, country, sports etc. Try to say general things, and do not be subjective (Remarks: How?). Giving compliments is good, but don’t give too many (Remarks: What is too many) as they might be interpreted as being insincere.

In a Restaurant

 Common examples of untactful sentences experienced in Hong Kong

Being Untactful - Practice

Read the following untactful conversation. Focus on how you would feel if you were in this conversation?

A: Hi, how you doing?

B: Fine. And yourself.

A: Terrible. I Had a bad argument this morning with my wife.

B: Oh, sorry to hear that.

A: Forget it. Everyone has problems with their wife. I expect you do too.

B: Actually, I’m not married.

A: Really? You must be. You had better get married quickly as you’re not getting any younger.

B: How old are you?

A: I’m in my early forties.

B: You look good, though. Very handsome. Although, your stomach is a little fat.

A: Yes, it is. I must do some more exercise.

B: Would you like me to order the food?

A: Ok, great. Oh, by the way I don’t eat seafood.

B: Really? Why? Everyone I know loves it.

A: I just don’t like it. Even when I was a child.

B: You don’t know what you’re missing. It’s delicious. Are you sure you won’t try some?

A: Positive, thanks.

B: How about some wine with the food?

A: Sure, one or two glasses is okay.

B: But you’re from England. I heard everybody drinks a lot there. Don’t you drink at lunchtime in the pub?

A: Yes, many people do. However, I like to drink in moderation.

B: Oh, I love to drink rice wine. It’s a Chinese custom. You must drink some with me.

A: Okay, I’ll try a glass.

Being Tactful - Practice

Here is a similar conversation; here both participants are tactful to each other.

A. Hi, how you doing?

B. Fine! and yourself?

A. Fantastic.

B. Pleased to hear it. If you don’t mind me asking, are you married?

A. Actually, I’m not married.

B. Oh, right. You look very good for you age, if you don’t mind me saying?

A. That’s kind of you.

B. You’re welcome.

A. Would you like me to order the food?

B. Ok, great. Oh, by the way I don’t eat seafood.

A. Okay, no problem. I can help you order something else.

B. How about some wine with the food?

A. Sure, one or two glasses are okay.

B. I always find a glass of wine goes well with a meal, don’t you?

A. Oh, I love to drink rice wine. It’s a Chinese custom. Would you like to try some?

B. Okay, I’ll try a glass.