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Plain vs Confused Language

buswriting12Plain English is good, clear writing which communicates as simply and effectively as possible. But it is not a childish or simplistic form of English.

Plain English focuses on the message. It uses only as many words as necessary and avoids jargon, unnecessary technical expressions and complex language.


Plain English documents are always written for the people who will be reading and using them, using words they will know. This means that a document can use technical or specialised terms and still be plain English. For example, an article in a medical journal may use specialised language that doctors will understand. But an article on the same topic written for a popular magazine will use terms familiar to the general public.


Even complex concepts can be explained in plain English. Many legal documents, such as contracts and legislation, have been rewritten in plain English and are still legally accurate.


Plain English:

  • presents information customers and clients can
  • easily understand provides the kind of information that clients and customers need
  • saves time and frustration in having to ask for help
  • makes it easier to fill in forms
  • saves misunderstanding gives a positive image of an organisation


Plain vs Confused Language: Example 1


Here’s a real life example of the small print of a credit card agreement. Try to read through the text (you’ll find it difficult and confusing!). Then read our comments on it.

Credit Card Agreement


The section in your Agreement entitled “Change in the Agreement” is being reworded slightly to make it clear that we can, at any time, add or delete provisions relating to your Account and to the nature, extent, and enforcement of the rights and obligations you or we may have relating to this Agreement, and that we will notify you of any change, addition or deletion to the Agreement and the effective date of the change, addition, or deletion. Whenever we exercise our rights under this provision, as we are doing with this notice, the notice we send you may state that you may notify us in writing that you do not wish to accept certain of the changes, additions, or deletions we are making. You will be deemed to accept all the changes, additions, and deletions accompanying the notice and to ratify and confirm all the provisions of your Cardmember Agreement and your acceptance of all the changes, additions, and deletions described in other notices previously sent to if (1) you do not send us such a notification in a timely manner, or (2) you use the Card or Account after the conclusion of the specified time period.


Comments:

  • Sentences are very long and wordy, containing more than two ideas in each sentence
  • Sentence structure is too complex
  • Several phrases are repeated unnecessarily.
  • The message is unclear as the main points are lost in the extra volume of words.
  • A number of words are not in common usage and may therefore be unclear, e.g. provisions, enforcement, deemed, ratify, timely.

Now read the text rewritten in plain English. This time you’ll probably have little trouble understanding the message.

We are changing the section in our agreement called “Change in the Agreement”. If we want to change our agreement, we’ll send you a notice about the change and tell you its effective date. You’ll have until the effective date to write and cancel your account, if you want to do that. If you don’t cancel on or before the effective date, you’ll be bound by the change we made. Whether you cancel or not, you’ll be bound by the change if you use your credit card after the effective date.



Plain vs Confused Language: Example 2


The next example is from a letter from a customer to his/her mortgage lender:

I request that Lender waive its requirement that an escrow/ impound account be established for the payment of hazard insurance premiums in connection with my mortgage loan and I agree to assume full responsibility for the timely and full payment of all hazard insurance premiums in connection with the property I am pledging as security for the mortgage loan and to furnish satisfactory proof of such payments upon Lender’s request. I understand that if I fail to make any such payments within 30 days of their respective due dates, Lender may, in its sole discretion, revoke its waiver and establish a hazard insurance premium escrow/ impound account. If this occurs, my monthly mortgage loan payments will increase by an amount to be calculated by Lender.


Comments:

  • Sentences are very long and wordy, containing more than two points in each sentence
  • Unnecessarily complex sentence structure
  • Unnecessary use of the passive voice, e.g. be established, to be calculated
  • Many words not in common usage, e.g. waive, in connection with, pledging, furnish, sole discretion, revoke, waiver.


Rewrite:

I request that you ignore your requirement for the escrow account to pay for the hazard insurance premiums on my property. I promise to pay the insurance premiums in full and on time. I will give you proof that I paid them, if you ask for it. I understand that if I fail to make these payments within 30 days of their due dates, you may change your mind and require an escrow account for the insurance premiums. If you do this, my monthly home loan payments will increase by an amount you will calculate.
 
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