Business/General English Fun! Simplified English Jokes     TEENAGE GIRL ON THE PHONE! A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. “Wow!” said her father. “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?” “Wrong number,” replied the girl. THE PERFECT SON Man: I have the perfect son. Friend: Does he smoke? Man: No, he doesn’t. Friend: Does he drink whisky? Man: No, he doesn’t. Friend: Does he ever come home late? Man: No, he doesn’t. Friend: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? Man: He will be six months old next Wednesday. IT HURTS!! A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.” The doctor asks, “What do you mean?” The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.” The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you - you’ve broken your finger!” BOY OR GIRL? A : Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B : It’s a girl. She’s my daughter. A : Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father. B : I’m not. I’m her mother. HELPFUL STUDENT Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it . CHEEKY STUDENT Student: Would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Student: Good, because I haven’t done my homework.